How to Pick Your Life Partner – Part 1
How to Pick Your Life Partner — Part 1 February 12, By Tim Urban To a frustrated single person, life can often feel like this: And at first glance, research seems to back this up, suggesting that married people are on average happier than single people and much happier than divorced people. All the research on how vastly happiness varies between happy and unhappy marriages makes perfect sense, of course. So how big a deal is it? Well, start by subtracting your age from Intense shit. So given that this is by far the most important thing in life to get right, how is it possible that so many good, smart, otherwise-logical people end up choosing a life partnership that leaves them dissatisfied and unhappy? Well as it turns out, there are a bunch of factors working against us: People tend to be bad at knowing what they want from a relationship Studies have shown people to be generally bad, when single, at predicting what later turn out to be their actual relationship preferences. One study found that speed daters questioned about their relationship preferences usually prove themselves wrong just minutes later with what they show to prefer in the actual event. Unfortunately, not many people have a chance to be in more than a few, if any, serious relationships before they make their big decision.
Coarse attributes that come to mind add in intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, allure, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive behaviour, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways at the same time as well. What this means is so as to we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing affecting baggage. We are inclined to play again events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our fully developed relationships. Were they too controlling?